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I would bet that a lot of time is spent each day looking for the exact words in a given situation.

Think about it. How often are you in search of what you think will be the perfect words? I would submit that it is frequently. Here’s the more interesting thing to consider, when you are searching for the perfect words, you are really only focused on what you THINK will be the best words for the given situation, when in fact you are only dealing with HALF of the situation!

There have been many times in my life where I thought I had it nailed. I thought I had the perfect thing to say at the perfect time. And then I said those perfect words only to discover they were possibly the worst words I could have used! I have learned this lesson many many times in both my marriage and in business. Here is the secret to having the perfect words….ready?….There are no perfect words!

It is much more important to communicate the right way than to attempt to have perfect words. I see this all the time in my business. I see people who are thinking so hard about what is the right thing to say to a prospect so that the prospect will be interested. I see many times where they think so hard about it that they end up not even contacting the person because they just don’t feel like they know the right thing to say.

The communication reality is that the actual words are only a small part of what you are communicating anyway. Your voice tone, pace, inflection, etc. have more impact than the words anyway, provided you are not insulting someone! If you are in person, you can add your body language and facial expression to the mix as well.

The emotional reality is actually even simpler. I have learned if you open your mouth and let your heart come out, provided your heart is in the right place, almost anything you say will be okay. It truly is more about HOW you say it than WHAT you are saying. If you are communicating respectfully and with kindness people will be open to you. It is as simple as that.

 

open your mouth and let your heart come out

 

This is why I am not a fan of scripts for business. I know, I know, scripts have been proven to work, and some of them are very well put together. But most people know when someone is giving them a script. How? Because if you know the person at all, then you know what their speaking style is. You know their tendencies and the type of vocabulary they generally use. If they are using a script, it is an instant red flag unless that script is made up of their words and spoken the way they would normally speak. That’s too complicated for me. I’m a pretty simple guy and I have been very successful just being nice and honest (and working diligently and consistently of course).

When you are talking to someone, just be real. Be yourself. If you are nervous or uncomfortable, let them know that. This is called getting present. If your not sure what to say to them, tell them your not sure what to say, you only know you have this wonderful thing you would like to share with them. Never try to be who you aren’t….remember you are enough. Yes, you can get better in whatever you are doing. Yes you can become more experienced so that the words you might use are better than the ones you might have used months ago…but the real point is that if you are nice, honest, and respectful in your communication, people will WANT to be in communication with you. Then whatever it is you are trying to share with them, whether it is in business or of a personal nature, will get communicated and be well received.

Open your mouth and let your heart come out.

 


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