Unless they are willing to help themselves.
The more we mature in life the less self-centered we tend to become. We reach the point where the joy we get from giving far exceeds the joy we get from getting.
This is a very cool thing. It provides a unique opportunity to be self-serving through serving others….because the more you serve and help others, the better you feel. The challenge comes when you try to help someone who won’t help themselves.
This is a very frustrating thing. You know someone is hurting in some way, you provide yourself and your resources to them, you know you can help….and they don’t take a step.
I’ve never quite been able to get my head around this. Why would someone NOT help themselves? I know that some people find a sense of identity in their problems. That they are a source of attention. But I still don’t get why anyone would want to receive attention through remaining miserable!
And here comes the point. There are a lot of people who do want to help themselves. They are looking for solutions. Since you can’t know which is which until you ask, your role is to make the offer of help and see who takes a step. Then help them! Don’t waste your energy fretting over why someone won’t help themselves, when you could be investing your energy in the person who is willing to help themself!
Think of it this way…you are standing on the deck of a ship…there are people in the water below who need to be saved….You have life preservers with ropes attached. You start throwing them over as fast as you can. You’d like to save everyone, but you can’t. The ship is moving. You can only save the ones who grab on, and then you can pull them up. This is life. Throw the preservers and help the ones that grab on.
