Dale Carnegie said “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
This is a big clue as to my topic today. As a natural introvert, I tend to do my best to navigate away from social settings where I don’t know anyone. Having said that, the nature of my life, involvement in my community, the amount of invitations we get to functions and fundraisers (my wife Melanie and I…and probably mostly because people love being around her:-), and of course my work of training and teaching corporations and home based entrepreneurs, puts me in social settings frequently.
If you observed me in these settings, you would never believe I was an introvert, because you would see me very engaged with people much of the time. If you were to be a “fly on the wall” so to speak as I was engaged with someone, you would notice something quickly.
I Am Rarely The One Talking.
I learned years ago, that it is way better to be interested in others. It’s easy to do, and it’s fun to do, and it’s actually interesting! You can learn so much about other people just by asking a good question and letting them talk. And here’s the thing that is really important to understand,
Most People are Not Getting Listened To in Their Life.
When you genuinely listen, people just open right up and get real with you. So often people make the mistake of going to a networking event with a pocket full of business cards and spend their time being a mongrel. You don’t want to be a mongrel! What’s a mongrel? It’s the person who just hounds everyone as fast as they can giving out cards and telling people how great they are or how good it would be for the other person to do business with them. Mongrels come off as users. Interested only in self.
Given the choice, who would you want to get to know better? The person who meets you tells you all about themselves, and then hands you a card? Or the person who spends some time with you asking you to share about what you do and how you like it and is sincerely interested in getting to know who you are?
It’s a no-brainer, but yet lots of people don’t get it! In this video, I share quite a bit about this topic and the types of questions to ask. It will really help you in developing contacts, and if you are introverted like me, you will eventually become so comfortable engaging people this way, that you will get out of the house a lot more!!
Was this helpful for you? Please let me know in the comments below. Think this would be helpful for others? Feel free to share. Let’s help as many people as we can to thrive in this awesome industry.
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For a great resource for knowing how to comfortably talk to people check out “The Process.”
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