Differences of Opinion are Part of Life…
Conflict is a choice.
If you find that you are in conflict with others on a regular basis, I have some news for you…and you may not like it…there is a good chance the issue is not others.
I once heard it said that “if everyone is having a problem with Bob, Bob’s the problem.” I could not agree more. Being a non-confrontational person, I am happy to say that I don’t have tons of conflict in my life in general. When I do have it, I know the path to quick resolution and since I don’t like to feel discord with anyone, I tend to quickly try to resolve it.
We All Tend To Think Our Way of Seeing Things is The Right Way
If you think about that long enough, you will see clearly how true it is. The challenge is that the other person feels exactly like this, just like you in every situation. There are always multiple versions of what can be right, with the exception of things that are egregious or universal facts like 1 + 1 =2 of course, in most situations.
Since this is NORMAL, then how do we go from different perspectives to conflict?
It’s about respect. If we don’t display respect for the other person’s viewpoint then we will be instigating conflict. It’s commonplace to do this with the people closest to us because we aren’t as careful.
Conflict is not fun for most of us, so here is a simple recipe for how to resolve it quickly once we have stuck our proverbial foot in our mouth:
- Approach the situation in a calm way and be sure to speak softly.
- Ask the other person how they see it.
- Focus on the issue, not the person.
- Share how you see it.
- Apologize for any role you played in the escalaltion and if you still don’t agree, then agree to disagree respectfully.
If you would like the deeper insight to any of these points, I provide that in this short video.
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