What Causes Someone to Make a Change for the Better?
Jim Rohn used to say that it is either inspiration or desperation. I agree with this in general. When I look back in my own life, I can clearly see times when I was driven by both.
I do believe, unfortunately, that more often than not, it is desperation that causes someone to finally take the steps they had been previously unwilling to take. If you think about it this way, you can grasp that most change that someone becomes desperate to make has been on their radar for a LONG time.
Desperation (except for sudden crisis) occurs from living with something so long that we get to a place where the thought of living with it any more is intolerable enough to do something that we wouldn’t do, even though we knew to do it or try it, prior to the point of desperation.
Think of it like this…desperation results from a procrastination of discomfort. Essentially people put off the discomfort of change. Ironically at the same time, they are accepting the discomfort of staying in the situation that is making them uncomfortable!
So How Do We Help Someone BEFORE They Become Desperate?
I could say also, how do we help ourselves, because let’s be real…this is me and you too. We all have been there, done that, and have a closet full of the T-shirts! This is how I’ve learned this stuff!
To Be Clear:
You cannot change anyone.
You cannot make anyone do something they don’t want to do.
Your advice is not welcome unless asked for.
You can however, do some very simple things that can make a massive difference for someone.
First, recognize that one of the biggest factors in a human being taking a step in the direction of change is the HOPE that they can make things different.
Hope is a powerful emotion. Can you just walk up to someone and hand them some hope?
Not usually. You can however help them to feel hopeful, which is the first step for them. So how do you do this? By sharing your truth or the truth of someone else, where a positive change came out of a difficult situation.
To do this effectively you have to first listen to the person in challenge as they share their story. If you need some insights on this, and how to really do this well such that you make an impact you can read this recent blog.
Remember this….stories of success through struggle inspire. When you share a story (after you have listened to theirs) you inspire hope in possibility for the other person (you also need to be walking the walk).
The second step in the recipe here is ENCOURAGEMENT. Once they express hope (for example they say something like “do you think that could really happen for me?”) at this point you begin sharing your belief of why it could happen for them.
You point out why they could…this is a breath of fresh air for them (very few people, if any, are doing this for this person).
The third step is that you simply offer your SUPPORT through the process. Let them know you will be there to help them.
This helps them to have the courage to take the steps.
Hope, encourage, support. It’s pretty easy when you see it this way, and it absolutely works.
If you are in any type of sales or in a home based business, the video below will give you some insights into the best way to use your story in presenting your offer. If you follow these insights you can become highly effective without any sales experience or technique.
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P.S. Have you ever considered having a coach? Reach out to me if you would like to talk about it.