Rule Number One: Quit TRYING to Be Happy
Happiness is a result. You cannot try to be a result. You can do things that produce a result, but you don’t DO the result.
Rule Number Two: Your happiness is not ANYONE else’s responsibility.
If you think for one second that your husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, friend, parents, boss, coach, country, etc. should be spending their time trying to make YOU happy…. Well, just think how ridiculous that is. It’s hard enough for YOU to figure out being happy isn’t it? How is anyone else supposed to tackle that job? And anyway…isn’t that just a bit narcissistic? A touch of entitled thinking? Happiness is an inside job. You may find some happiness as a result of your experiences with any or all of the above, and ideally you will/do, but you alone own the responsibility.
Rule Number Three: If you WAIT for happiness to find you, it will be too busy rewarding those who have earned/created it to show up for you.
You cannot sit around in whatever measure of comfort you exist in, while away your time on instant gratification mechanisms that are nothing more than avoidance tools, and expect to at some point start to feel happy. More likely, you are going to feel less and less happy as time goes on.
I could give you more rules, but these are good enough to open this up and get to the greater points. I have struggled with being happy my entire life. Having anxiety and some measure of depressive tendencies make happiness a challenge as a general rule.
Having said this, I am generally pretty happy most of the time but the reason isn’t happiness. It’s because I pursue a life that leads to JOY. I don’t pursue joy…it is a result. And a life that brings joy, will naturally bring more happy moments.
Happy “Moments” are Your First Clue…
Happy is defined as feeling pleasure or contentment. Content is defined as feeling satisfied. Happiness is attached to ideas and experiences. In essence, happiness is temporary and short-lived.
Just think of a time when you had an experience that made you super happy. How long did that last?
Happiness from my perspective, comes in little bites, and depending on your life in the moment, something bringing you happiness in the moment might bring you great sorrow eventually. Is that what you would want?
Of course not. You don’t want to spend your life pursuing a moment here and there, that’s not much of a journey.
Joy Brings Consistent Happiness…
Joy is defined as a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. In general, joy is more vibrational. It is not necessarily attached to anything. It’s more of an underlying state of being. Have you ever had a time when you just randomly felt extremely happy for no apparent reason? You were experiencing joy.
If you want to have more happiness in your life, it’s my experience that you live a life that leads to joy and happiness will appear quite often in the process.
As I mentioned earlier, and I share often when I am teaching or speaking, I have anxiety. This is a buzz kill to say the least. It’s an enemy of happiness. It say’s to you something’s wrong even when there is no visible issue. Sure, there is always something you can worry about, but what’s the point? You can never be happy and worry at the same time…because they are both temporary scenarios that involve your emotions.
When you have underlying joy, the anxiety is what is short-lived, because you can easily drop below the surface anxiety and realize how much joy there is.
How to Get to Joy
- Pursue life in the Right Order. This is 3 Circles Living. And it works. You can’t have happiness or joy without taking care of yourself. Pursue this daily. Invest yourself in the love relationships in your life. Joy and love are clearly great friends. Work diligently at your job to do the best you possibly can. Joy comes from labor.
- Pursue the thing that is in your heart to do. Start the hobby, the little side-gig, write the book. Whatever this is for you, the doing of it will bring you joy. It doesn’t have to be for profit, or for fame. Joy does not come from those things. Joy comes from the pursuit and the vibration of the growth in you.
- Give, Serve, Contribute. The more you do of this, the more joy you will have. PERIOD.
In the actions that create the result of joy, you will have many more happiness moments. In fact, you will have happiness periods that last for extended time.
But this happiness will not be from pursuing it. It will be from a life well-lived. It will be from feeling better about yourself. It will be from love. From accomplishment. From sweat and effort.
It will be earned. And it is worth every second.
This video is a presentation that is 3 Circles centered, if you’ve never seen this, I encourage you to watch it and take it to heart.
If you need some coaching reach out to me.
Many Blessings, Todd
P.S. The health journey is challenging for many people as they struggle with motivation to do the things they need to. Here is a short video where I talk about the “Pink Fuel,” a product that helps with reducing hunger and boosting energy, focus, and mood, naturally. It is one of the best “gateway” products for moving into a healthier lifestyle I have seen in 31 years. Let me know if you would like a link to order and try at wholesale, or if you would like more information. This is helping a lot of people.