Choice is a Curious Subject, and a Crucial One to Understand.
At this very moment, most of your life is a reflection of your choices, directly and indirectly. I realize this could potentially be seen as a confrontational statement, so I’ll share my perspective.
I know there are things that happen in life that we don’t choose. This is why I used the word “most.” Someone who doesn’t smoke gets lung cancer. Did they directly or indirectly make choices that led to that? Likely not. I say likely because we can’t know exactly how it happened.
Several years ago I was in a rather serious car accident. I was rear-ended at a traffic light (thankfully, I walked away without a scratch, but the person who hit me was airlifted to shock trauma). Did I choose that? Not directly. Bur indirectly, I did choose to drive my car that day, which means I accepted the small risk that something could happen. All of our choices have some measure of uncertainty/risk. If we knew 100% what would happen, then it would not require a choice would it? Let that one rattle around in your head for a moment😊
The choice to start. The choice to quit. The choice to listen or ignore. The choice to focus or not. The choice to stay or go. The choice to tell the truth or to lie. The choice to get up or lay back down. The choice to make an excuse or accept responsibility. The choice to….
Why Do We Choose What We Choose?
This is where the rubber hits the road and where you can decide what is actionable. Sometimes you feel like you have no choice. Is that true? No. It means that you believe the outcome of the alternate choice is completely unacceptable and thus not an option.
The primary driver of all our choices is what we BELIEVE (it makes little difference if we are AWARE of what beliefs are driving us or not…we choose, but if we ARE aware that beliefs are impacting our choices, then we can go to work on that.).
What we believe about either ourselves (now this one is a big one to unpack😊), the potential outcomes of the choice, the impact the choice will have short-term vs. long-term on ourselves, the impact it will have on others, what other choices will be resulting of the first choice, the potential for loss versus the potential for gain, how the choice fits with our values and principles, our priorities at the time, what we interpret as right or wrong, and I could go on.
There is quite a bit going on when we make choices, especially those with the significant possibility for change.
Why am I sharing this thread about beliefs and choices? Because I want you to evolve and grow towards living your richest life possible. And THAT will absolutely be a result of the choices you make and follow through with.
If you do not like how certain things are going in your life, you simply have to A. examine the choices you have been making in that area and then B. Examine what are the beliefs that are causing you to make those choices and then C. Begin changing the beliefs and then D. Acting on the new belief that will drive the new choices.
How in the World Do You Change a Belief?
I’m so glad you asked! A belief is simply a thought that you continue to think. Many of the things you and I believe, are not necessarily true. If I knew what all of them are I would tell you right now, but for your part, it’s up to you to uncover the false ones for yourself, just like it was, and is, for me.
I can tell you the first place you want to look is inside of yourself. My experience is that the majority of the beliefs I needed to change were related to me. Not long ago, Melanie and I were talking and she told me how it used to break her heart to hear me say “things just never work out for me.” At the time in my life that I used to say this, and it was for many years, I truly believed it.
And guess what?
I lived my life in a way that proved this false belief was true. I always self-sabotaged everything I did at some point. When things got hard, I would quit. When things LOOKED like they would get hard. I would quit. Quitting is a simple way to ensure that something won’t work out for you, isn’t it? My belief drove the choice to quit, which enforced the belief.
The only way to change the cycle, was to change the belief. In my case the belief was buried way down in my self-worth, esteem, confidence, and lots of other things. When I accepted that I was responsible for how my life turned out and not some cosmic force that was centered on making certain Todd Burrier was destined to fail in everything he tried, I began going to work on myself.
I invested everyday in caring for myself (showing me that I was worth caring for) and developing myself (double positive here, because I was showing me that I was worth developing, and I was improving myself and my thinking). I talk about all of this in 3 Circles Living. Part of that, a big part of that, was establishing my self-care and development morning routine, which I just released in a video (here is the landing page to access it, and you might share this link with others, because it will ABSOLUTELY help them if they do it https://toddburrier.com/lp/own-your-life/).
This began to change my thinking. As they changed, it began to shift my beliefs, which altered my choices, which then affected how, and on what I acted, which then created a new set of results, which then further influenced my thinking, and my beliefs grew stronger and the spiral started going in the right direction, and it has led to a life that I would have thought impossible for me when it all started.
How would you like things to turn out like that for you?
It can. But you gotta do the work. You start to work on you and not stop. You start to work on the things you want to change and don’t stop. Then you start eventually to get to a place where your beliefs are strong enough that you start to work on the things that are on your heart to do.
This is how it works. You now have the flow going in the right direction. If this is helpful for you please share with others and spread the love.
Here is a Facebook Live I did recently about changing the flow. This may help as well.
If you need some Coaching, or Training for your organization, reach out to me.
Many Blessings, Todd
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P.S.S. This is the time of year when we all tend to double down on our efforts to get more healthy, fit, and perhaps shed a few of the holiday (if not the COVID) pounds. One of my favorite aids for this is what I call the “Pink Fuel.” Key-Tonic is the actual name and it’s a product that I use at least once a day. It will help you with any effort to get healthy/fit/reduce weight as it helps lessen hunger while giving you clean energy to burn and fostering a positive state of mind. You can check it out here.