How to Give Meaningful Encouragement

How Often Are You Receiving Genuine Encouragement?

Me either.

Now, for the sake of context, the encouragement I am referring to is direct, purposeful encouragement that is about something you are doing and is completely focused on you for no other reason other than it matters for you.

Anyway, the reality is that encouragement is one of the absolute best things someone could do for you. Especially someone you respect and believe in. And it’s likely you aren’t getting much because…well…it’s just not done enough in general in my opinion.

John Maxwell Calls Encouragement “The Oxygen of the Soul.”

No doubt about this one. He nailed it. When you get encouraged by the right voice it lifts you up like few other things. Even if you aren’t getting directly encouraged, but someone shares something with you that recognizes the value of something you are doing, this is encouraging for you, even if it isn’t by definition direct encouragement.

There’s little sense in wondering why there is such a dearth of this wonderful soul feeder in today’s culture, and in fact it would be very easy to create a list of why, but to what end? You don’t change the world by pointing out to everyone what they aren’t doing…you change the world by doing something of value, repeatedly, and then over time it begins to manifest in a broader sense as the people who have had the positive experience “get it” enough that they link arms and begin to do the same. This is why it is so true that a small group of people can truly change the world. But they never do it by demanding change. They do it by BEING change and then attracting and spreading the same.

Here’s a Process for Encouraging Someone…Anyone😊

You have to invest the time, without judgement in fully understanding what it is they desire to do, or are already in the midst of doing. It makes no difference if you believe in the thing they are trying to do, or think it’s a good idea. That’s about you, and irrelevant. Your learning without judgement will demonstrate that you care, and is essential if you want the encouragement to be impactful. In essence, encouragement is about believing in the human being doing the thing, not believing in the thing being done.

This is what makes it so potent.

Be conscious of the pathway on which self-belief evolves. Certainly it can evolve organically through one’s own efforts, and in fact it does, but this is not very common, as evident by the studies that 85% of the population have low self-esteem…which is easily translated as low self-belief. Often self-belief comes first as a result of someone believing in you, then it naturally must follow that you believe in the one demonstrating the self-belief or it won’t matter, then over time, provided you believe in and respect/trust the believer in you, then, and only then, do you start to begin actually believing in yourself. This is why some Coaches (in any area) are so legendary. They grow self-belief and the rest happens from this.

Look for a single specific attribute that they possess or have demonstrated in the past that can be connected to accomplishing the thing they are working on. It could be a specific skill or ability, or it could be something as basic as guts and will.

Share with them your belief in their ability to succeed because of the thing in them you have observed. You have now just made your perspective of specific value for them relative to their pursuit, and you have also made it believable for them.

At this point you have done what no one else, including themselves has done. You have legitimized a reason they can succeed. They have been busy cowering and fretting over all the other reasons they cannot succeed…regardless of the fact that these are fiction unless they give in to them, in which case they have just made them real.

Those three pieces are the most important part. Your work may or may not be done with this specific encouragement, depending on how often you interact with this person, the level of the relationship, the interplay personally and professionally, and also your availability and interest.

You can then go the next step, because you have earned it at this point, and urge them not to stop.
You can go one more step and ask them if there is anything you can do that would help to support them.
You can follow up on a regular basis to ask how they are doing.
There aren’t limits here, just practicality and desire. The bigger message here is…what if you genuinely encouraged people consistently? Every week…every day. What might this catalyze?

The more you encourage, in the right way, the more you will see positive emerge in the people you touch. This will make a difference in your job, in a team you lead, in a business you run, in your family, in your community, and anywhere else you happen to engage. Share this message with anyone you know who is in a position to make a difference with people. You just may start a ripple…

Here is a video that I recorded almost 4 years ago and while it is targeted for the home business industry, it is applicable for working at anything.