It’s Pretty Hard to Be Negative and Hopeful in the Same Breath
You see, true hope is a feeling. A feeling of optimism about something you want and reasonably expect to occur in the future. Since it’s essentially an emotion, and it’s hard to have two specific and very different emotions/feelings in the same moment, simultaneous hopefulness and negativity just isn’t going to happen. You could be hopeful in one breath and then negative in the next one, but not in the same breath.
I added the word reasonably, because if you buy a lottery ticket, you might be hopeful that you win, but you mostly believe there is no way you will win. You basically feel it’s hopeless, but since it’s only a buck or two, you take a flier, just in case you happen to be the one in 50 million. That isn’t true hope.
True hope is inspiring. It’s powerful. It lights you up. It’s so potent of a feeling, that it’s almost like you are experiencing some of the joy that you will/would experience when the actual thing happens. That’s a pretty cool lesson right there.
You actually get to use the joy connected to hope (in the future) in the present. The flip side of hope of course is hopelessness. This is a horrible place to be. Feeling hopeless is like deep despondency. It’s that “what’s the use feeling” that ruins potential, destroys joy, and can lead to destructive behavior.
I bet you know what it feels like to have your hopes dashed. The proverb says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” You know this feeling. I’ve been through it and so have you. I watched my son have his hopes of playing pro basketball dashed by the realization that his feet could no longer tolerate the physical toll of the sport. Years and years of dedication, sacrifice, hard work, sweat, tears…crushed. It takes a while to recover from a substantial dashed hope. But you do. By finding new hope.
Be the Bringer of Hope
You want to be welcome most every where you go?
Be someone who brings hope. There are so many people all around you who are struggling with things in their life where they have lost hope. Just one area of life that is difficult and feels hopeless can drag down everything else if we aren’t careful. Feeling hopeless is like feeling helpless. You feel like there is nothing you can do. So why do anything? And this leads to a dark place. Because the less you do, the worse you feel, and then the less you do, and the more worse you feel, and so on. You are out of control, and feel like you have no control.
The other side of this is where you can be a difference maker. Because a drop of hope brings good vibration to everything else. Think about it…any time you feel optimistic about SOMEthing, it makes you feel more optimistic about EVERYthing. And let’s face it…we need a lot more hope bringers in the world to battle the constant negative drivel being spewed by the mainstream media. Their toxicity wrecks hope on a consistent basis.
So How Do You Become a Bringer of Hope?
First, you have to be a person who is embodying a hopeful nature. You have to be a positive light. You cannot give what you don’t have. This is relatively simple believe it or not. Just follow the 3 Circles living pathway. First take care of yourself physically, then (develop)mentally. This gives you positive energy. Others can feel this. Then of course, you take care of your most important relationships. This gives you joy. People can feel this too. Next you apply this way of being to your career and pursuits, which are areas in which you have hopes that you are acting on.
Voila! You are someone who could credibly bring hope to another person. I’m talking about hope in a personal way here. You can also provide hope in other ways in the world by using your resources and talents to help others who are in need of a boost in some way. There are many opportunities for that and I HOPE 😊 you are giving out of your blessings to do that too.
How Do You Specifically Give Others Hope?
Once you have tended to yourself, now you can spread the hope wealth, and there is a very simple specific formula for doing so.
- Listen. You have to demonstrate that you care about someone before they will care what you have to say. And then you have to understand someone’s plight before you can offer a meaningful word about it. And they have to believe you understand and trust that you care, before they will be receptive. When you listen, you are essentially saying through your actions that this person in front of you has enough value that you stopped your busy life to be in this moment with them. This…all by itself…helps them.
- Encourage. If you spend just a few minutes with someone, you can quickly see some of the positive attributes they possess. If you ask a few questions, you can learn even faster why they are capable of moving forward. You simply have to let them know what it is about them and their situation that leads you to believe that they can move through it successfully. Since you have cared to listen and understand, what you say will be uplifting. It will give courage. Hence, it is encouraging…and to be encouraged feels good, and feels a little like hope.
- Share a Story. This is where you make hope real for them. Nothing opens up the hope chest like a story. We are all wired this way. Stories tap into us emotionally and allow us to begin to feel and then think, that maybe something like what happened in the story could happen for us. It could be a story about yourself or someone else. The key thing is to make sure you share the fact that the “hero” of the story, ie the main character, went through a significant struggle that relates to the struggle the person you are speaking to is dealing with. Stories of success through struggle are inspiring, and inspiration is a partner with hope.
If this message was of value for you, please share it. Here is a little more on the subject…
If you need some Coaching, or Training for your organization, reach out to me.
Many Blessings, Todd
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