Three Things You Can Do to Build Trust With Anyone

You Can Always Measure the Depth of a Relationship by the Degree of Trust

Think about it for a second. The people in your life that you have the strongest bonds with, aside from the bond of family, are the people you trust the most. Certainly, you have lots in common with these people as well, but the real glue in the relationship is trust.

Trust is tied directly to perception of character, and it is this measure of trust that is the most meaningful. Yes, in business or other organized activities, there is also a measure of trust relative to level of competency, but that trust factor matters much less relationally.

Trust is the Engine of Credibility Which is the Foundation for Influence

I do trust sessions with all my corporate clients because you will never move the needle very far with people without trust, and you will never have a high functioning organization with a low trusting environment.

To make it simple. No one is going to give you any more effort than they have to unless they trust you. In business, you want to create a situation where the people in your charge, and that you interface with, WANT to do well by you. Only then can you have the highest productivity and engagement.

The beginning platform tenets are simple in my view. Be kind, honest, and respectful. Always. This alone will make you someone people will inherently feel they can trust. When you conduct yourself like this, regardless of position, the people you interact with will recognize you as someone that they feel good around. This is no small thing. As Maya Angelou said “people will rarely remember what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.”

I know the value of this deeply, as I have lived these three things as platform behaviors most of my career and life. And then I built on these with several other things such as demonstrating loyalty, showing empathy and caring for others, and being careful to serve others as much as possible.

Simon Sinek said “You cannot tell someone to trust you. You have to make it impossible not to.”

Here are three things to pay attention to, in addition to the basics that I mentioned, that can help you hold yourself accountable for doing your part to ensure you are seen as trustworthy.

1. Consistent Behavior- people need to be able know what to expect when they engage with you. They need to know that you won’t shoot the messenger. They need to feel safe to say what needs to be said. If you are erratic or moody, then you will not have people come to you very often. It can be very costly, especially in leadership. One thing I do each day, is make sure that I am centered (morn. routine) before I begin engaging others. I know I am responsible, just like you, for how I show up each day, because we all impact everyone we come in contact with. As I share in my book 3 Circles Living, my chemical wiring has me wake up as “Eeyore” more often than not, but I CANNOT show up that way, so I do my morning routine to make sure I show up the same way daily, because I get the value of it.
2. Communicate Consistently and Clearly- The higher up the food chain in leadership you are the harder this is, and the more important it is. You have to really work at this. Besides the trust impact, NOT doing this will yield major negative impacts to productivity in whatever organization you are serving and leading. People in general do not do well when they are uncertain. They tend to freeze and feel stressed. They need clarity from you. This means you have to frequently test your assumptions that people know what you mean. You have to ask. My personal approach here, and one of my platform principles, is that I choose to err on the side of over-communicating. I would rather have someone say to me “okay, I get it already” than later say, “well I really didn’t know what you meant.”
3. Always Keep Your Commitments- ALWAYS. If you say you are going to do it. Do it. Follow through. You want to be known as someone that others will say, “If ___ says it will get done, you can count on it.” It doesn’t matter the size either. Anything you say you’ll do will be taken as a commitment. I can tell you unequivocally, that this one has been a big one for me. I am not a fast starter, or fast learner, and I know that I’m no more intelligent than the average human being, but if I say I will do something, I will do it. It may not be pretty, but it will happen. I have been told countless times by others that they know if I say I’ll do it, I will. THAT, needs to be you. Obviously, there are exceptions and things change. I’m talking about as a general rule. If something has changed, and the thing you agreed to no longer makes sense or is the best decision…just refer to number 2 above.

I hope you take these three to heart…actually, I hope you take every word of this to heart. I am a freak about guarding trust, because I know the value of building and maintaining credibility. It has been the driver for most of the good things in my life, and it will take you to places in your career that will make you happy.

I bet there are some folks who could use this article. Please share.

Here is a short video about the value of “Getting into the Trust Sweet Spot.”

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