You and I are Not Entitled to Tell Someone Else How They Should See the World.
This includes how they should live their life and what choices they should make. And this is where it gets a little complicated for us. Especially when it comes to people we care about and the choices they make, and when we are navigating situations in business from sales opportunities to team work and many other scenarios.
The bottom line, is that we are all different and have our own sets of values, principles, beliefs, priorities, experiences, situations, circumstances, personality traits, and the list goes on.
I am not in your shoes and you are not in mine. So if I come directly at you or vice versa, it will only create resistance and push back at best, or conflict and hard feelings on the worse end.
So What Do You Do When You are Communicating With Someone and YOU Believe That They are Mistaken in Their Belief, or Are Lacking Information?
Actually, it’s relatively simple…but not necessarily easy. In the video below, I go into a lot more depth…and it would likely be helpful for your colleagues, teammates, and family members to watch it. Of course that’s my belief😊
Anyway…short course here. First you have to operate from a place of kindness, honesty and RESPECT.
Your purpose here is NOT to make them wrong. It’s NOT to show them you are smarter. It’s to HELP them discover new insight.
You have to EARN the right to do this.
You have to follow the TRUST—UNDERSTOOD—INPUT pathway of discussion.
You have to listen patiently and skillfully to how they came to see things the way they see them. You have to utilize empathy (if you want to do this at the highest level possible) in such a way that they feel that you truly understand them.
And then at the right time in the conversation you “nudge” them a little to see if they would like to hear your perspective.
You do that (after you have built some emotional equity with them…i.e., earned the right to contribute), by letting them know that you appreciate how they got to this perspective and simply share that you have had a little different experience and you would be happy to share if they’d like (in a sales setting this is already expected, but the skills used are the same…the language just might change a bit).
Then you share a story of what you “discovered” or “found.” This is powerful, because this approach brings ZERO resistance as it goes down a different pathway of receiving for your counterpart in the discussion.
It allows them to discover. It essentially becomes THEIR idea.
When you make someone wrong, regardless of intention you might alienate them. When you share in a way that they self-discover, you have provided a means for them to help themselves, and you will grow your credibility in their eyes.
I short-cut this, because it would be several pages and videos to do the deep teaching on it, but the over the top view can help you a lot, and the video does go into more depth.
Please share if this was of benefit to you.
If you need some Coaching, or Training for your organization, reach out to me.
Many Blessings, Todd
P.S. This is a good time of year to flush/cleanse your body and then super boost your immune system. Here is a 12 Day Cleanse video I did a few months ago, that really helps a lot.
