Sabotage is Defined as the Deliberate Attempt to Damage, Destroy, or Hinder a Cause of Activity.
Based on this definition, it would be easy to say “I would never deliberately do this to myself” and have full conviction that your statement is true. But thinking it’s true doesn’t make it so. Any purposeful action that results in sabotage, regardless of intention, is still sabotage.
We human beings do things all the time that have the unintended consequence of bringing us more harm than good. Sometimes it’s with a great deal of thought (i.e., a deeply considered decision that ends up being the wrong choice), and other times we react emotionally in a moment (without thinking at all) and create a consequence that is deeply regrettable.
We all do it. The more mature we get, and the wiser we become, the less we do it, but we are all subject to it to some degree.
Having mentored, coached, and trained thousands of people throughout my career, I know that a significant source of self-sabotage is lack of self-worth. This translates into a false belief that we don’t deserve better than we have at the moment. I have seen countless people (and myself included earlier in my life) begin to make progress towards a positive change or success in an endeavor, and then totally self-destruct. But this is not the greatest source. In fact, defeating the greatest source overcomes the self-worth issue (I am living proof of this). So, what is this king of self-sabotage?
This is the big kahuna of all sabotagers. And it doesn’t need to be. In fact, with the proper mindset, this can be an encourager believe it or not.
If you sit back for a moment and think about all avenues of your life where you are not satisfied with the current result, I imagine you will find that a loss of patience has played a role in limiting your progress over the long haul.
After all, it’s the long-haul part of things that’s the issue, isn’t it? We decide on a course of action to improve or overcome something that we are currently dissatisfied with and because we don’t see the fruit we want fast enough we don’t stick with the course of action that is actually working. We lose patience.
Then we make a change to try something else and do it again. Or we stop altogether.
The proverb says: “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.”
This, in a nutshell, is the difference of HANDLING impatience. Diligence is staying at something consistently over time. Hasty is the perspective that it’s got to happen fast and this mentality leads to poor results (poverty in whatever it is).
In both cases, a human being is not experiencing patience. Both the diligent and the hasty are impatient. The difference is how it is reacted to. The diligent feel the impatience and continue. The hasty feel the impatience and stop.
Three Strategies for You
I have written and published five books. Writing a book takes dealing with a massive amount of impatience, just like living fit and healthy, building a sustainable business, creating deep relationships, building wealth, championing a cause, and anything else you deem of value.
In three of the books, I have talked about patience as a key part of a section.
The books are The Process (the simple fundamentals for building a successful home business), Leading with Heart (the fundamentals for leading an organization of home-based independent contractors), and 3 Circles Living (how to achieve your richest life possible), and each strategy nugget I share here is in at least one of them.
Real quick before I share these…here’s the deal: You will NEVER be patient. Or if you like it a different way, you will ALWAYS be impatient😊 This is the human condition. It’s part of our nature. You do not remove it. You overcome it and manage it.
Number 1: Urgent Patience: This concept is related to whatever process you are working at to accomplish something. The bigger your goal, the longer it will take. Everything can be boiled down to a process of steps. Since you already know you will be impatient for the end result, shift your focus to the daily action. Be URGENT in working at the process of the thing one day at a time. Satisfy your anxious impatient energy through the daily steps. Forget about the long-term goal in the day and just urgently do the process. Every month or so, look at progress and make adjustments as needed but do not change the basic formula. Give yourself credit for the steps and it will help encourage you.
Number 2: Patient Frustration: Frustration is a sign of impatience. Here’s the good news. You are only going to be frustrated by the challenges in a pursuit if you CARE. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be frustrated. This is a positive thing. To care so much about something you want that you feel frustration. With this strategy, you can sit back for a second and acknowledge that you are frustrated and that clearly this is time well spent because it matters to you, so you learn to accept and be patient with the frustration and it becomes fuel for the long haul of the pursuit.
Number 3: Patient Impatience: This one is in 3 Circles Living. It’s the one that makes the most difference in terms of peace because it is the wisest. It is the pure recognition that you aren’t, and never will, be patient. You are always going to want what you want as fast as you can get it. Since you cannot be patient as a general rule, you simply become patient with this fact. This is emotional intelligence at it’s best. Feeling the impatience and patiently smiling at yourself.
These three things are a bit playful in approach. Poking a little bit of fun at self for something that we own and live with. And why not? All three of these are part of my life on a consistent basis.
Because they work. I have never been the smartest or fastest at anything ever, unless I’m by myself:-) Yet, every area of my life that is important to me has steadily improved throughout the past 30 years. And this is why.
I hope you found some value in this and that it helps you to navigate your impatience such that you render it impotent against your dreams and goals.
If you need some Coaching, or Training for your organization, reach out to me.
Many Blessings, Todd
P.S. If you would like a roadmap for living your best life, or what I refer to as your “richest life possible” check out 3 Circles Living.