Confidence has a Major Impact on The Quality of our Lives…
The more confidence you have the better results you will have in all areas of your life that matter. This is an absolute fact.
Of course, over-confidence can be an issue as much as lack of confidence at times, as it can lead to biting off more than you can chew, which translates into not delivering or flat out failing at times, but that’s a different topic and one I can’t readily speak to since I can’t remember a single time in my life when I was over-confident.
The bigger struggle for the majority is lack of confidence. This can have a huge cost if given in to.
As someone who struggled mightily with low confidence for a long time in my life, I can easily reflect on the huge cost this had in terms of lost opportunity. I don’t regret that time in my life…I am thankful for it for two distinct reasons: 1) I know deeply the price of letting self-doubt limit what someone is willing to try and for how long they will try at all 2) I can empathize with people who struggle with this which better allows me to serve them and help them through it.
I mentioned doubt, because I believe this is frequently mistaken for lack of confidence and subsequently acts as a barrier to moving forward. The truth is…
You Can Have Doubt AND Confidence at the Same Time.
And the sooner you learn this the better.
What is doubt? It’s a lack of certainty.
What is confidence? There are several kinds of confidence, but for this purpose, it is simply a belief in our ability. Think about this in the purest form…if you think you can do something you have confidence and if you don’t think you can you don’t. Confidence is a product of competence from an ability perspective.
This is why you can have both confidence and doubt simultaneously. You can believe in your ability to do something yet be uncertain about the outcome.
The problem is when we believe (decide they are absolute truths) our doubts, and then let them trickle into our confidence. By the way, we all have the ability to learn too…so even if you don’t think you have ability, you can develop it.
You Can Grow Your Confidence but Not Over Night…
Just like anything else that you have dealt with for a long time, confidence does not simply happen because you decide it should. It’s not microwavable. You can’t “hot pocket” confidence. It takes dedication and effort, but it will absolutely change, and with it, so will your whole life.
Here are 5 Things to Help You:
Consider Your Past Learning Curve Triumphs– Confidence issues are most visible when we have to face doing something new. You have tackled and succeeded in so many things in your past that you don’t remember or acknowledge. Take some time to think of all that you can do right now that at one point you didn’t know how to do. This exercise is also in the book 3 Circles Living.
Do Something Uncomfortable– As often as you can do at least one little thing that is uncomfortable for you to do. This gets you in the habit of leaning into your doubts, shows you that you’ll survive, and it will have a compounding effect on your confidence.
Daily Personal Development/Skills Training– I suggest you start with 15 minutes a day of reading or listening/watching to personal and professional development materials. This is purposeful work on your competencies and your attitude and mindset. One of the biggest issues for lack of confidence in the work-place is that most people have never had any real training in the interpersonal and productivity competencies, as well as all the leadership/management competencies that are built on them. No wonder there is such a large lack of confidence. Everyday people are working and encountering situations they have little training/competency in, hence the lack of confidence. This is a foundational part of all the training I do for companies and organizations because it is a multiplier for success.
Take Action Daily on a Pursuit– If you aren’t pursuing something of your own, then I suggest to start…NOWish…it’s hugely important for helping you feel whole. You have something on your heart to do. Everyone does. Not doing it feeds the bad self- image side….you have to do it. Even if you only start 15 minutes per day. In addition to feeding your soul, this will put you into situations that require you to learn and navigate. It grows you quickly, and growth brings confidence with it.
Limit Exposure to Negativity– I am a freak about this. It is just so important to keep negativity away from you as much as you can. Contrary to popular belief, the sky is not falling, there are good people in the world, and there are good things happening all the time all around you. But that, for some reason, is not newsworthy. Any negative energy that comes at you be it in person, or through media, affects you and the way you see life. Cut. It. Off.
I would be willing to bet you could look back in life and see some heavy costs incurred in lost opportunities because you lacked confidence at the time. Decide right now, that is not going to happen in your future. Life is too short and uncertain to not lean into it.
I hope this article helped you some. Please share if it did.
If you need some Coaching, or Training for your organization, reach out to me.
Many Blessings, Todd
P.S. Maybe it would be a cool idea to give someone a 3 Circles Living for Christmas, or whatever holiday gift-giving you celebrate. I mean, who wouldn’t want to have a roadmap to their richest life possible?
