How Do We Learn to Communicate?
The answer for most people would be through the environment we’re raised in. Our family dynamics, school friends, social activities, geographic area, and our personality traits are the most impactful influences on our personal communication styles and our tendencies.
Unfortunately, this means that we’re learning through osmosis. We end up learning through what we absorb, observe, and what we find are the best ways for us to get what we want in communication.
Because human beings are self-focused by nature, we tend to learn only what is good for us (or so we think), in given situations.
This is very limiting. It is further magnified by the tendency we have to believe that the view we have of the world is the right view. If we do something that works, we don’t tend to look further at what else will work. And as a result, one of the biggest obstacles to learning new things is what we already know.
Personal communication skills are not required learning in education systems (at no point from grade school thru my MBA degree did I study this). As a result, our learning is completely experiential and therefore, by default, it’s going to be limited. The most effective people at personal communication are people who are focused outwardly, meaning on the other person. This is a skill that needs to be developed because it goes against our nature, because we all want to be heard.
Mastering personal communication skills is a lifelong process that needs to be spear-headed by what I call “Learning on Purpose.” You have to actively pursue learning these skills. It is a normal occurrence in business that the people with the best technical skills work for the people with the best people skills, and in most cases it is just the luck of the draw…
Be proactive in your learning in this area and it will make a major difference in your relationships and in your business results.
To this end, here is a video clip from a zoom training I did for my team recently, where I give them three fundamental formulas, that are simple to learn and implement.
If you learn these and do them consistently, you will notice a significant difference in your interactions, and eventual deepening of the connection with the people around you in your personal life, professional life, and the community in general.
This specific application is for a one-to-one business conversation, but these fundamentals apply to all conversations that matter.
This is a small sample of the life skills training our project team gets, in addition to deeper one-to-one coaching.
As a result, the people who work with us, in addition to creating more sustainable income in a side project, become higher versions of themselves, and flourish in other aspects of their life, including their career, important relationships, and community impact.
Be sure to watch. These will help you a great deal.
Many Blessings, Todd
P.S. I am currently deep into the initial growth stage of “Project Next.” As a result, I am no longer accepting coaching clients, as my coaching time is reserved for my expanding project team. I am still accepting certain training/speaking engagements based on timing and fit. If you are currently dissatisfied with your bigger picture progress in life and would like to learn how the project may help you move forward, send me an email and we can arrange a time to talk.