Every Area of Your Life Where Things are Really Good, You Went Through a Lot to Get to This Place.
Nothing is ever perfect in life. No matter how good your life is.
For me, there is always something I can consider to be less than I would prefer.
And when I consider some of those things, which I spend little time considering, I know the truth of the matter.
I simply don’t care enough about it to do what is needed. Having said that, the major areas of the 3 Circles generally thrive for me, and this gives you a glimpse into how that happens and how it can be for you wherever you want to be thriving…or think you do.
There are three questions I think you should ask yourself about every important area of your life.
What do I want?
Why do I want it?
How badly do I want it?
They sound similar.
They aren’t.
In fact, the deeper you go with these three questions, the more likely you are to discover that what you think you want isn’t really what you want at all.
Let’s start with the first one.
What Do I Want?
This is where most people stop.
I want more money.
I want to lose weight.
I want a better relationship.
I want more freedom.
I want to start a business.
I want to travel.
Okay. Great.
But those answers are often pretty surface-level.
Because the thing you say you want may simply be the avenue you believe will get you what you actually want.
That’s why the second question matters so much.
Why Do I Want It?
Why do you want more money?
Maybe it’s not really the money. Maybe you want the freedom you believe money will give you.
Why do you want to lose weight?
Maybe it’s not really about the number on the scale. Maybe you want confidence, energy, or the ability to do the things you love.
Why do you want to start a business?
Maybe you want autonomy. Maybe you want to create something meaningful. Maybe you want control over your time.
Whatever your answer is to “Why do I want it?” gets you closer to what you actually want.
And that leads to the most important question of all.
How Badly Do I Want It?
This is the one you need to sit with.
Because you can’t answer it honestly in 30 seconds.
You have to ask yourself:
What will it actually take to get this?
Not what will it take in the romanticized version.
Not what will it take if everything goes perfectly.
What will it REALLY take?
What activities will I have to do?
What resources will I need?
How much time will it require?
And perhaps most importantly:
What am I going to have to give up to get it?
Because everything costs something.
And if you don’t consider the cost before you commit to the goal, you will probably end up disappointing yourself.
That’s a bigger deal than it sounds.
I’ve talked recently about the emotional bank account we have with ourselves. Every time you make a commitment to yourself and don’t follow through, you make a withdrawal.
Do it enough times and you start eroding something incredibly valuable:
Your trust in yourself.
That’s why you have to go way down the rabbit hole with this third question.
How badly do I want it?
And there’s one more piece.
You have to ask how the goal aligns with your values and principles.
Because there are some things you shouldn’t be willing to sacrifice.
If achieving your goal requires you to violate something you fundamentally believe in, then maybe the goal isn’t the problem.
Maybe the way you’re trying to get there is.
That’s an important distinction.
You may discover that what you initially said you wanted isn’t actually the right vehicle for getting what you truly want.
So you go back to the drawing board.
You ask better questions.
You find another path.
That’s not failure.
That’s wisdom.
So the next time you find yourself saying, “I really want this,” don’t just nod your head and start chasing it.
Stop.
Ask yourself:
What do I want?
Why do I want it?
And how badly do I want it—knowing what it’s actually going to take?
Because clarity isn’t just knowing what you want.
Clarity is knowing why you want it, what you’re willing to do for it, and what you’re NOT willing to sacrifice to get it.