Who Do You Trust?

For me, the answer is pretty simple.

I trust people I have a deep connection with.

I trust people who have earned my trust over time.

I trust people who have demonstrated congruence in their lives—where what they say and what they do consistently match.

And I trust referrals from those people.

That’s pretty much it.

Without that deep experience, that relationship, that referral, or some kind of demonstrated track record I can confirm, I don’t automatically trust.

And I’m a trusting person by nature.

That’s an important aspect of this perspective to know.

I’m not naturally skeptical of everybody. In fact, it took me a long time to get to this place.

Without being highly discerning with your trust, you are extremely vulnerable.

My gullibility, given my trusting nature, has shown me the downside of blind trust in my life, and built in me a safeguard on how readily I trust.

I am deeply introspective in general, and I look at discernment in trust as a wisdom that takes a great deal of seasoning to develop.

Who don’t I trust?

As a general rule, I don’t trust politicians.

I don’t trust the healthcare system.

I don’t trust the media.

I don’t trust big oil.

I don’t trust a foreign government.

I don’t trust influencers.

And there’s probably more, but that’s just off the top of my head.

Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t trust any individual within those groups.

That’s not what I’m saying.

I’m saying I don’t automatically trust someone simply because they’re part of a system, organization, institution, or profession.

Especially when that system has a vested interest in a particular outcome.

Because here’s what I’ve learned:

People will often protect their position before they protect the greater good.

And when that’s the case, I’m going to question what I’m being told.

I also don’t trust someone simply because they tell me what they’re going to do.

I might trust them as a human being.

I just don’t necessarily trust that they’ll actually do what they said they’re going to do.

I’ll trust the track record.

I’ll trust the consistency.

I’ll trust what I’ve witnessed.

Words don’t build trust. Repeated behavior does.

And here’s why this matters.

You are operating on trust all day, every day.

You trust people.

You trust institutions.

You trust information.

You trust products.

You trust experts.

You trust systems.

And much of the time, you don’t even realize you’re doing it.

That’s what I think is worth examining. Pronto.

Because if you’re making decisions based on blind trust, you may have no idea whether the choices you’re making are actually the best choices for you.

You could be making those choices because you’ve been influenced by something or someone whose interests don’t necessarily align with yours.

I’m not suggesting you become cynical.

I’m suggesting you become contemplative.

Look at where your trust comes from.

Ask yourself:

Why do I trust this person?

Why do I trust this institution?

What have they actually demonstrated?

Do their words and actions line up?

What’s their track record?

And most importantly…

Is their interest in my well-being—or in getting something from me?

Trust is powerful.

But don’t confuse being trusting with being indiscriminate.

You can have an open heart and a discerning mind.

In fact, I think that’s a pretty darn good way to live.